Until 2014 I lived my life as per my wish. I enjoyed my good
times but I also did not regret my bad moments. I never had to think twice for
my decisions. No obstacles and no hard times. Everything was clean and smooth.
I was living my life exactly as it is said, 'there is no dull moment'. My mom
always supported and allowed me to enjoy my life to the fullest and kept on
repeating 'एक्लो हुदॉ जति रमाइलो गर्नु छ गर, पछी त व्यवहारले समात्छ ' (enjoy when you are alone and by alone she
meant without babies). But with the beginning of 2015, my life moved into a new
phase, unknown and scary. I was carrying my daughter in my lap and my mom stood
by my side teaching me so many things in so detail. I thought I lived my life
and my life has just begun. And I realised so much to learn. With the beginning
of 2016, I feel 2015 was a big time for me for so many reasons and I need a
self-reflection and treasure it for a smile.
2015 has been a year of experiencing truth; truth of life;
sometimes sweet and other time sour. A
year, I faced the biggest accusations. It has left a hole in my heart which has
no cure except to fill it with love. I wait for the almighty TIME to heal my
heart. A year, I encountered with my weaknesses. I fought with my loved ones,
almost everyone, who were around me. I developed negative thoughts for many things
and actions. I need to apologise and pray for more patience to acquire. A year, I lived with greatest fear; fear of
new mother, fear of detachment, fear of my career, fear of financial insecurity
and the list goes on. However I lived through 2015. No wonder, these moments
twisted and turned me upside down but I learned to be strong and tolerant. A
year when I searched my soul, I found it in my mother and sisters. A year when I
looked for the security and Ajay was right there with all his effort to console
me. A year when I questioned my existence and the reply is just next to me, my
baby. A year when I was about to kneel down and my family hold me back right at
the moment. I am just thankful for being who am I and with whom I am. What a
wonderful life I have!
In a word, 2015 has been an “emotional-roller-coaster”. A
year that gave me time to lie back, observe things and contemplate upon myself.
It made me realise how beautiful my life is and how amazing people I live with.
It made me think deeply to appreciate and love them back instead of wasting
time on thinking about those who don’t deserve space in your life. This particular
year ended with a new hope and a different perspective to look at my future.
Thus my new year’s resolution is that I will carry these realisations up and high until my last breathe. I will try my best to have control over my demons, worry less and find reasons to smile every moment.
Thus my new year’s resolution is that I will carry these realisations up and high until my last breathe. I will try my best to have control over my demons, worry less and find reasons to smile every moment.
Happy New Year 2016 to me !
